Heh.
While this is something interesting to ponder and mill over, I have something completely different on my mind right now, so just reallllll quick..
-Evolving.
-Not yet.
-Yes.

ANYWAY. It's Monday, which means I was up all Sunday night, bemoaning the fact that today would come, and I'd be thrust back into school, and getting up almost kinda early. What makes this particular Monday EXTRA rough, is the fact that I had to get up 15 minutes earlier, so that I could catch a different bus, get to campus, and print out a paper before handing it in at 10:00.

It's hard, I know. Mine is a life few would want.

Waking up is the worst part of anything for me, and the first 10 minutes is always the worst. Aside from all the thoughts of seething hatred for everything in the world separating me from my bed, my most immediate thought is, "What the hell am I going to wear?"

For some reason, the world frowns on people wearing pajamas* to campus. Heaven forbid we show up in those ridiculous patterned pants, usually plastered with some licensed character, sports team, or cuddly term of endearment. (~ANGEL~, ~BABYGURL~, and ~HOTTIE~ are all acceptable.) Here, I believe, is where the cuddly world of sweatpants comes into play.

There is something magical about sweatpants. There is something also incredibly ridiculous about that last sentence, but fuck all that, this is a free write, and I have time to kill. (Clearly finals are GETTING TO ME!!1!1)
Sweatpants walk that line of, "I'm comfortable", "I'm depressed", and "I don't care how I look today". I suppose it's more of a triangle than a line, but what do I know?

As far as appearances go, sweatpants are much less threatening than pajama pants. Typically they're one solid color, and can get away with some innocuous designs printed on them, such as a school insignia, or, again, sports team logo. If it is subtle, we're okay with it. It's necessary to point this out, because there is a line to be drawn (not a triangle this time). Words printed across your ass, especially bubbley-graffiti ones are not cool. You are saying, "Look, I may be too lazy to pull on a pair of jeans, but look at my sassy personality shine through!"
No, babe. Whatever is shining through, it's shining right over your butt in gold glitter letters. You pulled that look STRAIGHT out of your ass, and there you have it, it has left its mark. Bootylicious, indeed.

From personal experience, I think that wearing sweatpants to school is ironically, a larger commitment than the look would imply. As a girl who has used the "I'm too lazy to give a fuck" her entire life, I would know a thing or two about this. Lucky for me, this is easily pulled off with jeans and a t-shirt. Throw on a scarf, my pleather jacket, my unkempt hair, and black rimmed glasses, and everyone knows I'm an art major. It's okay if I look like a slob! I'm too busy diluting my oil paint with linseed oil to care!

Magically, I can pull this look off anywhere! Did I go on a date with that Master of English straight out of my Independent Study, covered in plaster? Yes! Did it slow him down at all? No! "Oh goodness, look at this plaster on the (once) nice shirt I was totally wearing for you! See, my professor has me working as his Pseudo-TA, and I had to help students create plaster molds, ugh! What a mess! Oh? YOU were going to buy that 8 shot espresso for ME? You are quite pleasant, sir!"

However, once sweatpants are donned, I feel like I need to apologize to the world. Call it being neurotic, but 10 minutes after I leave the house in sweatpants, I instantly regret it. I'm over the fact that I'm tired! I could of worn jeans! I'm now the SWEATPANTS girl on campus. Surely everyone is looking at me! Now no one will know that I'm an art student! They're just going to think I'm depressed and lazy! (Well..heh.) Looking around, I see other girls with the same ensemble as me. I'll just try to blend in with them, and put on this facade where I am not ashamed of my sweatpants!

It's all so much work!

Today, on the other hand, I am wearing track pants, the classier older brother of sweatpants. The illusion created here is that I am physically active. Oh ho ho. Stop me now, world.



*Or if you're me, and honest, a lack of pants.